Best BDSM Advice

Recent Advice Articles

Roleplay Sex Made Hotter, Easier, and Less Awkward

What makes roleplay sex so exciting? Discover how erotic roleplay engages your most powerful sexual organ—the brain—while helping you explore taboo desires, deepen intimacy, and have a lot more fun in and out of the bedroom.

How to Support BDSM & Sexual Partners with Trauma

How can you support a partner with trauma while exploring sex or BDSM safely and lovingly? Learn trauma-informed ways to build trust, create emotional safety, and help your partner reconnect with their body, pleasure, and power.

How to Navigate Age-Gap Relationships (and Power Imbalances)

What is an age gap relationship, and can it really work? Explore the dynamics, benefits, and potential risks of age-gap relationships, and learn how informed consent, communication, and mutual respect can make them fulfilling and nurturing for both partners.

Discipline Isn’t Punishment: The Secret to a Thriving D/s Relationship

Ever wondered how discipline can make your BDSM dynamic stronger and more erotic? Discover how expanding your understanding of discipline—beyond just punishment—creates structure, accountability, and deeper connection for both Dominant and submissive.

Predicament Bondage: Turning Submission into an Exhilarating Game

Curious about predicament bondage? Discover how this unique form of BDSM combines restraint, creativity, and psychology to create thrilling challenges where the submissive must choose between pain, pleasure, or surrender.

10 Hidden Benefits of a Dom Sub Relationship (Beyond Just Hot Sex)

What makes a Dom sub relationship so powerful? Discover the surprising benefits of power exchange, from deeper intimacy to hotter passion.

Is a Free Use Kink Really Just Unlimited Sex?

Curious about free use kink? Discover what it is, how it works, why people enjoy it, and the rules of consent that make it both thrilling and safe. Learn how to explore free use kink responsibly in this guide.

The Beginner’s Handbook to Attending a BDSM Play Party

Ever wondered what really goes on at a BDSM Play Party? Learn how to survive your first event, turn nerves into confidence, and have an unforgettable night of kink, connection, and fun—without feeling lost or overwhelmed.

Types of Doms: Which One Are You Meant to Be?

Curious about which Dom you are—or could become? Explore the different types of Doms in BDSM, from classic Masters to sensual Pleasure Doms, and learn how to find or craft a persona that fits your true desires.

BDSM Limits and Boundaries: Building a Sandbox for BDSM Play

What’s the difference between BDSM limits and boundaries—and why do they matter so much? Learn how to confidently set, communicate, and honor your BDSM limits and boundaries to create safer, hotter, and more connected power exchange dynamics.

Praise Kink: The Deeper Intimate Power Play You’re Not Talking About

What if praise could unravel you more than pain? Explore the psychology, power, and erotic depth of a praise kink—and how to use it to deepen intimacy.

Why BDSM Play Is More Than Just Kinky Fun

What if BDSM play is more than just kink? Explore how BDSM play can become a powerful tool for psychological growth, shadow integration, and deeper self-awareness through role play.

Public Play, Public Sex, and How to Discreetly Get Freaky in Public

Curious how to explore your kinks in public without getting caught? This guide to public play and public sex shows you how to stay discreet, ethical, and wildly turned on—anywhere.

Service Sub: A Quiet Fire of Devotion in Dom Sub Dynamics

What if the most powerful kind of submission didn’t involve ropes, pain, or punishment—but quiet devotion? This deep dive into the world of the service sub explores the psychology, practices, and emotional intimacy behind acts of service in Dom/sub dynamics. Discover how small tasks become sacred rituals and why this underrated role holds transformative potential for both Dominants and submissives.

Light Bondage for Beginners (Without Learning Rope!)

Curious about bondage but not ready for rope? Discover light bondage for beginners—safe, sexy ways to restrain your partner without needing knots. Learn fun, easy techniques using everyday items and build trust and intimacy in your BDSM play.

Bootstrapping a D/s Dynamic: The Bottom-Up Approach to Building Dom Sub Dynamics with New Partners

Want a D/s dynamic but not sure how to start with a new partner? Learn how to build your Dom/sub relationship step by step—no experience or rigid contract required. Explore bottom-up D/s dynamics that grow with you.

Degradation Kink: A Misunderstood Dark Art in BDSM

What draws people to degradation kink, and how can something so taboo become deeply healing? This article unpacks the psychology, purpose, and ethical practice of degradation kink in BDSM, including how it differs from humiliation and objectification. Learn how to engage in these dark arts with intention, consent, and care—for both Dominants and submissives.

Primal Play: Learn to Have Sex Like an Animal

Ever felt the urge to growl, bite, or pin your partner down in a wild, uninhibited frenzy? Primal play is a raw and instinctual form of BDSM that strips away rules and protocol, letting your animalistic desires take over. Whether you're into rough sex, consensual non-consent (CNC), wrestling for dominance, or simply craving deep, carnal connection—this guide explores everything you need to unleash your wild side.

Master the Dominant Mindset: 3 Keys to Authentic Power in the Bedroom

Want to step into a truly dominant mindset without feeling like you're just playing a role? Discover how embracing your authentic desires, removing shame, and learning to take control will transform your confidence and give your submissive exactly what she craves.

Orgasm Control: So Much More Than Edging

Curious about taking pleasure to the next level? Discover how orgasm control goes far beyond edging, exploring techniques like forced orgasms and orgasm denial to create intense connection, arousal, and submission.

Do You Want a Dom, a Top, or Just Some Rough Sex?

Do you actually want a Dom, a Top, or just rough sex? Many people use the word "Dominant" without defining their desires, leading to frustration and disappointment. Learn the differences between rough sex, kinky play with a skilled Top, and power exchange with a Dom—helping you clarify what you want and communicate it effectively.

Building Trust in Dom/sub Relationship is a Two-Way Street

Explore the two sides of trust in Dom/Sub dynamics. Understand how to be trustworthy and how to trust your partner, creating a fulfilling and secure D/s relationship.

Face Slapping During Sex Guide: Techniques & Risks

Learn how to safely slap your partner in the face during sex to increase pleasure and polarize power play.

BDSM Rewards for Submissives

Has your submissive been a good girl? Need a way to encourage and appreciate her for her efforts? Learn about BDSM rewards for submissives including the 5 principles of rewards, the different systems and levels of rewards, and different types of rewards with examples.

BDSM Punishments for Submissives

Has your submissive broken a rule? Need a way to correct her behavior? Learn about BDSM punishments for submissives including the 7 principles of punishments, the different levels of punishment and how to choose the correct one, and different types of punishments with examples.

Cockwarming Guide: How to Engage in A Sexy, Simple Act of Service

Want to learn a sexy, simple pass-time to incorporate in your D/s dynamic? Try Cockwarming.

Two Must-Ask Questions for Better Sex

These two deceptively simple questions will change your sex life and drastically improve your chances of finding fulfillment in your pleasure.

Face Fucking Guide: Techniques and Positions for Aggressive Oral Sex

Learn techniques and positions for safely and pleasurably engaging in face fucking and other types of aggressive oral sex.

Biting During Sex Guide: Tips & Techniques

Learn how to safely bite your partner during sex to increase pleasure, eroticism, and primal energy.

Book Announcement - Enter the Dom: The No BS Book on Dominance

Announcing my upcoming book Enter the Dom: The No BS Book on Dominance

Hair Pulling During Sex Guide: Tips & Techniques

Learn how to properly pull someone's hair during sex to make it a pleasurable experience rather than a painful one.

Not All DDlg is the Same: How to Enjoy DDlg without Ageplay

Curious about DDlg or Daddy Dom/ little girl dynamics in BDSM buy not sure about ageplay? Learn some misconceptions about DDlg, the psychology of someone who might enjoy it, and ways to experience without ageplay.

How to Deal with Sub drop Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally

Feeling down or out of energy after your intense BDSM scene? You're likely experiencing sub drop. This article will highlight what sub drop is and how to remedy it physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Brat Tamer: The Secret to Taming Brat Submissives

Have a bratty submissive on your hands? Learn the secret to taming brats, effective strategies and mindsets for being a brat tamer, and example punishments for brats.

Manhandling Guide: Techniques & Tips for Rougher Sex & BDSM Play

Learn how to manhandle your submissive in the bedroom so she can feel your Dominance and intensify her pleasure in sex and BDSM play.

Erotic Choking Guide: Safer Techniques for Sex and BDSM Play

Learn the risks and considerations for engaging in erotic choking and how to safely incorporate it into sex.

Attending Your First BDSM Munch? Here’s What to Expect

Want to start getting into the kink scene and community? Try a munch, a social gathering for kinky people. In this article, learn what happens at munches, what to talk about, how to act, and where to find them.

BDSM Spanking Guide: Tips, Techniques, and Positions for Erotic Spanking

Learn the best techniques and positions for delivering an unforgettable spanking experience for your submissive.

What You Should Know About Consent in BDSM

Learn about consent in BDSM and the various models of consent including implied, express, and informed consent, plus the undervalued Wheel of Consent model.

A Pleasure Dom is Not What You Think It Is

What is a Pleasure Dom, really? If you think being a Pleasure Dom is just about giving orgasms, you're mistaken. This article will reveal to you what a Pleasure Dom is, their psychology, 9 sexy tools to use as a Pleasure Dom, how to be submissive for one, and an example scene for you to try.

3 Pillars to Structure the Perfect BDSM Scene

Want to craft a great BDSM scene? These 3 foundational pillars will equip you with an easy to use formula for you to create scenes that will help Doms and subs reach the heights of pleasure and depths of subspace.

Dom Sub Contract: Structuring Your D/s Dynamic (Free Template)

Ready to take your D/s dynamic to the next level? This guide will walk you step by step through structuring your D/s dynamic using a Dom sub contract, sometimes referred to as a slave contract or BDSM contract, complete with rules, rituals, protocols, punishments, and a structure that suits your reality and makes space for both of your needs and desires.

How to Be Submissive: 14 Steps to Becoming a Submissive Woman

Ladies, do you want to become a submissive? This complete guide to becoming a submissive woman will lead you through 14 steps on your submissive journey from understanding yourself, getting in touch with your emotions and desires, and finding a Dom you respect and can fully surrender to.

A Complete Guide to Dirty Talk for Subs

Want to up your dirty talk game as a submissive? This guide will you show you easy to use frameworks for praise, observations, requests, fantasy, begging, being owner, and self degradation, with dozens of examples of submissive dirty talk you can use in the bedroom and invite your Dom to take you.

A Complete Guide to Dirty Talk for Doms

Want to learn how to dirty talk so that you drive your submissive wild? This guide will you show you easy to use frameworks for praise, observations, commands, fantasy, ownership, and degradation with dozens of examples of Dominant dirty talk you can use in the bedroom and never run out of naughty things to say.

How To Make Him More Dominant in the Bedroom

Wishing your man would be more dominant in the bedroom? Use these 5 easy steps rooted in his psychology to help encourage him and draw out that strong, masculine Dominance you have been craving.

Subspace: What Every Submissive Needs to Know About This Drug Like State

Want to know what subspace is? This article will walk you through this altered state of consciousness, why it happens (and feels so great!), how to get into subspace, dangers and risks to watch out for, and how to transition out of subspace to avoid subdrop.

How to Be a Dom: 16 Steps to Becoming a Dominant Man

So you want to be a Dom? True masculine Dominance is in short supply these days. This complete guide to becoming a Dominant man will lead you through 16 steps to developing your inner and outer Dominance so that submissive women not only think you're a Dom, but can feel Dominance radiating from your core.

Sex Menu: Ultimate Tool To Quickly Communicate Your Desires

Having trouble communicating your desires with your partner? Try using a sex menu, a powerful tool for telling your partner everything that turns you on, quickly and with less anxiety about talking about your desires!

8 BDSM Tasks to Give Your Submissive to Help Them Grow

Looking for tasks to give your submissive? Use these 8 types of BDSM tasks for improving your D/s dynamic, helping your submissive grow, and having a lot of sexy fun along the way!

Men's Guide to Dominant Sex in the Bedroom

Want to have more dominant sex? Has your partner asked you to be more dominant in the bedroom? Or maybe it excites, but you have no idea where to start or how to develop your sexual dominance? Then this guide is for you.

What is a Good Submissive: 7 Essential Behaviors for Submissives

Want to know the behaviors that make good submissives? Generally, a submissive is a person who willingly consents to relinquish control, authority, and decision-making to their Dominant partner. Submissives take on the role of being obedient, compliant, and responsive to the wishes and desires of their Dominant within the agreed-upon boundaries of the relationship. A bottom is someone who has the skills to receive acts from another person. But again, being submissive is the why and the intention behind those acts. So what makes a good submissive?

What is a Good Dom: 7 Essential Behaviors for Dominants

Want to know the behaviors that make good dominants? If you're anything like me, you were lost in the beginning when trying to learn what it meant to be a good Dominant. A Dominant is the person who takes on the role of authority, control, and power over the submissive. A Top is someone who has the skills to perform acts on another person. But a Dominant is the why and the intention behind those acts. But what makes a good Dominant?