What does dominant mean?

Dominant refers to the person in a Dom/sub relationship who receives authority over the submissive in service to the power exchange dynamic. The Dominant decides what will happen, how it will happen, and when. This leadership requires understanding the goals and desires of both people and creating a clear vision for achieving them. Those goals might range from something as simple as both partners reaching the heights of ecstasy, to something as complex as guiding the lives of both dominant and submissive. To pursue that vision, the Dom is responsible for providing structure, ensuring safety, building trust, creating space for play and pleasure, and caring for the submissive.

Common Types of Doms

The acronym BDSM—standing for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism—illuminates several classic archetypes of Dominants.

These include:

• Rigger: Enjoys rope bondage or other forms of restraint, either for the visual appeal of seeing the submissive tied up and at their mercy, or for the artistry, such as in shibari. Riggers pair with rope bunnies—those who enjoy being tied up.
• Disciplinarian: Enjoys rules and punishments (which can be physical, like spanking, or psychological) to control or modify behavior within a BDSM context. Disciplinarians often pair with brats, spankees, or submissives who crave structure and stern handling.
• Daddy Dom: Exhibits caregiving tendencies and enjoys the more tender, nurturing aspects of guiding and mentoring their sub. They patiently nurture, discipline, and help their submissive develop compliant, fruitful behavior in the relationship. Daddy Doms typically pair with littles, middles, babygirls, or any submissive who desires a caring mentor. (It’s important to clarify that this dynamic has nothing to do with pedophilia, which involves attraction to minors.)
• Master: Enjoys 24/7 control of their submissive, often treating them as property. Masters may engage in slave training, where the submissive learns specific roles and duties. Masters pair with slaves.
• Owner: Refers to someone who claims ownership over a submissive—often one who acts like a pet, such as a kitten or puppy.
• Sadist: Enjoys inflicting pain on their submissive, who may be referred to as a masochist or pain slut. This pain can be physical (impact play, needle play) or emotional (humiliation).
• Fin Dom: Controls a submissive’s finances, often requiring them to follow rules or commands in order to maintain control over their money.‍
• Pleasure Dom: Focuses on taking complete control of the submissive’s pleasure, dictating when, where, and how it happens.
• Primal Predator: Thrives on the thrill of the hunt—“taking down” their submissive like prey—or surrendering to animalistic instincts during sex. They let go of rational thought and embrace raw, instinctual dominance during primal play.
• Degrader: Finds pleasure in emotionally belittling their submissive through humiliation, degradation, objectification, and acts that make them feel less than human.
• Brat Tamer: Similar to a Disciplinarian, the Brat Tamer uses a variety of tools to discipline, educate, and redirect a brat’s misbehavior. Brats often act out to seek attention, and the Brat Tamer's role is to uncover and address the deeper need behind the behavior.

These archetypes are just starting points. The landscape of BDSM and kink is vast and endlessly customizable. You can mix and match elements of these roles to begin crafting your own unique Dominant style—which I highly recommend if you want to truly stand out to potential submissives.

A Top vs. a Dom

A Top is someone who has the skills to perform specific acts on another person. A Dominant is the why—the intention, the juice—behind those acts. Of course, if you’re going to engage in BDSM, it’s important to be a skilled Top in addition to being a Dom.

A good Top has a solid understanding of BDSM principles, techniques, and safety practices. They continually seek to educate themselves about various aspects of BDSM to ensure safe and enjoyable experiences for both partners.

In some circles, a Top is not considered part of the “Dominant” archetypes, as they may deliver kinky actions like a Dom would within a scene, but aren’t necessarily fulfilling the broader role of the Dominant, which involves power exchange.

Being a Top is a great place to start when honing your skills and learning how to gain control, harness power, and manage a D/s dynamic.

Abbreviations

Dom can be used of someone of any gender but is most commonly used by male-identifying gender. Domme is most commonly used by female identifying Dominants. Domx can be used for non-binary people.